We've decided to cancel our IVF. I went in this morning for my last ultrasound monitoring appointment and what started as 6 good looking follicles during ultrasound #1 and then turned into 3 o-kay follicles during ultrasound #2 is now only 2 follicles with a smaller one at 14.5 mm that MIGHT grow a little and release with the trigger shot but that's a big maybe. So, 2 follicles is not worth the almost $10,000 that we would have to pay to go forward with an IVF. Oh yeah, and the uterine lining has shrunk ... it was 8.3 mm on Wed and only 7.8 mm today. Yes, there can be some variability due to operator error but I could tell right away that it just didn't look as full and vibrant on the screen as it did on Wednesday and my doc remeasured it 3 times to be sure and all 3 times it was b/w 7.6 - 7.9. I'm completely baffled at this point.
It's a total bummer, obviously, but strangely, I'm kind of numb to it. I was pretty down on Wednesday when it was obvious that this IVF wasn't progressing as we had hoped but since then I've just kind of lost any emotion I had (and this with an extraordinarily high estrogen level). I can't explain it but I think I'm just so done with all of this BS that I no longer have the capacity to care. I've dealt with so many curve balls and frustration over the years that I'm just DONE.
Dr. K had me go ahead and get one more blood test to check my current E2 and P4 levels. If they are o-kay, we are going to go ahead and convert this cycle to an IUI instead, since I do have 2 good follies (a 27 mm and a 19 mm) and a decent lining. Who knows, 3 of them have resulted in conception in the past ... maybe we'll get another (preferably one that sticks around).
If, however, the IUI doesn't happen or doesn't work, we are going to wait until after we go to Bali later in the year to try the microdose lupron protocol. That will give us some time to recover a bit from what we have already spent and replenish my supply of fertility drugs. {SIGH}
Oh, I do have to give kudos to my honey though, he's been so sweet and attentive during all of this and willing to do WHATEVER was asked of him! This morning, when I called him with the results, he was really compassionate and he said he's really proud of me and thinks I've been doing a really good job and that with all of the appointments and shots (not to mention the horrible bruises that are all over my stomach!) he is really impressed with how well I've handled everything. That choked me up more than anything!
Awwww, your hubby sounds like such a good guy!! Exactly what you need at a time like this. I'm so sorry about the cancellation. I hope you are indeed able to convert to IUI.
ReplyDeleteHey mate, I'm so sorry about the cancellation, I can only imagine how disappointed you must be. Fingers crossed the IUI can go ahead. And your hubby IS a fab guy but he's just reiterating what we all know - you're an incredibly strong and brave person. IVF ain't the easiest thing to do - cancelling a cycle after all the emotional, financial and physical investment you've already put in would break anyone. Hang in there buddy. BIG HUGS!
ReplyDeleteSorry, Jerimi. I can only imagine your frustration and disappointment. Stay strong and know you have lots of us to lean on, including your wonderful hubby. We all love you very much!
ReplyDeleteJerimi, I know exactly how you feel. I had one gonal f/IUI cancel in the middle of it and I was heartbroken. I remember pulling into the Waterburger parking lot and crying my eyes and then ordering a milk shake. It will get better and you will find a strength you never thought you had or wanted to have. You and Brian have a lot of love to give and that will continue to grow through all of this!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad your hubby is being so awesome. I know that support means the world. *hugs*
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